Charts, breathing exercises, journals, and books (she includes a bibliography) all help her cope. But when she tried it, she found that it did help her achieve an inner feeling of balance. As a fairly serious athlete, she looked down on yoga. I liked that the author also includes alternative therapies that worked for her and some that didn’t. Years of mania and crushing depression, seeing the signs of moving toward one end of the spectrum or the other, and having very little control over it. But I think what surprised me the most is that it literally took years to find a combination of medications that worked for her. She’s honest about the side effects, which can be really unpleasant, and in the end, she tallies up exactly how much her medications, therapy, and alternative therapies cost her per month, even with health insurance. Eventually, she gives in and starts taking it but she’s still reluctant. She didn’t want to feel zonked out and lose her creative spark, as she assumed would happen. She completely resisted the idea at first. Those pieces were particularly powerful.įorney spends a lot of time writing about her struggles with medication. She also included some artwork that she created during specific periods to show exactly where her mind was. But everything is darker and tighter when she’s down. There are lots of arrows connecting ideas and double page spreads to capture everything she’s thinking when she’s up. Her artwork perfectly captures the energy of what she’s feeling at any given period. She sinks so low that her psychiatrist is excited when she manages to get out of bed to sleep on the couch for a change. She’s brutally honest about her risky behaviors during manic periods and exactly how low she sinks in her depression. Forney’s journey helped me learn more about this potentially devastating disorder. But what started as a book I was reading simply to check a box quickly became a fascinating read. It seemed like the perfect choice to help me catch up. I got behind on the monthly prompts for the Diversity Reading Challenge in August so I was looking for a short book about mental health or addiction when I stumbled on this title. Was she “crazy crazy”? Should she take medication? What if the medication affected her art and her sense of self? In this memoir, Forney leads us through her highs and lows as she learns to live with her diagnosis and tries to find her way to a place of balance and productivity.
She knew she had bipolar tendencies but an actual diagnosis shook her.
In her late twenties, author/artist Ellen Forney was diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder. I will earn a small commission at no additional cost to you if you purchase merchandise through links on my site. I have an affiliate relationship with Malaprop’s Bookstore/Cafe in beautiful Asheville, NC.
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